Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Truth Hurts

Today I got an email from a guy I had gone out with a few times, maybe three or four times. He wanted to know why I didn't like him, what "turned me off."

"I would just like to know so I can adjust or improve my situation for the next lady I meet," he wrote in the email.

Wow, that really caught me off guard. I mean, what am I suppose to say, "Your man boobs make my stomach turn?"

He's a really nice person, but I just didn't like him. We didn't click. I wasn't physically attracted to him and he was a little too touchy, feely for me. Also, he learns about what's going on in the world through The Michael Baisden Show.

But I just simply said, "You know, I don't think we have a lot in common."

However, I thought his question was bold and honest. I applaud him. He wanted to know what he had done wrong and how he could improve himself so he wouldn't make the same mistakes. He asked what he should change to attract the type of woman he wanted in his life.

I'm not sure I would want to know why someone doesn't like me. I'm a little thin-skinned. My feelings would be hurt - LOL ! I CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH !

But seriously, would you want to know how to improve yourself to attract the type of person you wanted? I'm not talking about changing who you are, but improving the basics. Or do you feel like, "This is me, take it or leave it."

So I ask:

Have you ever wondered why it didn't work out with that special someone?

Did you ever really like a guy and sometimes wondered why he stopped calling?

Do you think about what you could have done differently to make him stay? (maybe I should have cooked more or maybe I should have dressed a little sexier or maybe I should have been a little more supportive of his goals or maybe I should have lost weight or maybe I shouldn't have been so mouthy or maybe... you get my drift)

Would you like to know the reasons someone is no longer interested in you?

Let me know your thoughts.


TNDRHRT said...

He may have asked, but I don't think he wants to know the truth. Men can get their feelings hurt, too. I'd just tell him that there was no attraction on my part to him and leave it at that. What I didn't like, the next woman may like. Therefore, me pointing out specifics really wouldn't do any good.

Yes, I've had a couple of guys tell me reasons why they stopped calling or asking me out on dates. Reasons ranged from weight to they found someone better. Yeah. Tis true. There are some things I can change about myself, i.e. weight. However, the core of who I am will not ever change. As you said, take me or leave me.

Anonymous said...

You should have told him that you didn't have enough in common and you lacked a physical attraction. Why be socially blunt? So he won't come back in 6 months or next year.