Monday, April 30, 2012

I Take Responsibility For

I subscribe to the blog Positively Positive and about once a day I get something uplifting, encouraging or inspiring in my inbox. Last week, contributor Jennifer Pastiloff wrote a blog about responsibility. She said she encourages her yoga students to get a journal and write the sentence "I take responsibility for..." and they have to complete the sentence, or sentences. Read the entire post here.

So I tried it.
I take responsibility for - my health.
I take responsibility for - my procrastination.
I take responsibility for - the clutter in my home.
I take responsibility for - my romantic choices.
I take responsibility for - my professional choices.
I take responsibility for - my lack of action.
I take responsibility for - my financial future.

Wow, that was pretty liberating (makes me wanna go clean up my room and throw out those brownies I bought yesterday — LOL).

Pastiloff reminds students to not be so hard on themselves and take responsibility for some of the good things they've done in their lives — "your awesomeness" she says.

But she also notes that it's important to NOT take responsibility for things you're not responsible for. For example, after years of guilt she no longer takes responsibility for her dad dying.

The exercise can be difficult, but it really puts things in perspective because it forces you to take a look at your life and take ownership of where you are today. It's so easy to blame someone else, outside forces, for our current situation.

So today I challenge you to write the sentence: "I take responsibility for..." and complete it.

What do you take responsibility for?

What are you NOT taking responsibility for?

Holla at me.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Don't Believe The Hype

My friend Tanya Ballard Brown posted an article from Marie Claire on Facebook the other day. The essay by journalist Helena Andrews is titled Setting The Record Straight. Read the short piece here.

In her essay Andrews dispels the myth that 70 percent of Black women are single and vows to declare war on this widely spread statistic. She points to the numerous articles that have been written about the single Black woman in recent years and the books that have come out of our "dire situation,"  including the bestseller Act Like a Lady, Think Like A Man, which has been turned into a blockbuster movie. But Andrews says, "It's time to revolt."

"As a 31-year-old college-educated black woman who's never been married, everywhere I turn, the odds of finding a good man are against me," the author writes.

But Andrews points to her own relationship as evidence that reality may be different than what the media is portraying. She is dating a college-educated Black man who "isn't a felon, a deadbeat, a father of illegitimate children, or a cheat." She talked to other Black women, who happen to be single, but who also refuse to buy into the "epidemic of singledom." TV producer Nyree Emory, 38, noted that the number of unmarried women in her social circle was very low.

That's what Ivory Toldson, a psychology professor at Howard University, has been trying to get across over the past few years. He analyzed census data between the years 2000 and 2009 and found that "most black women eventually do marry" and, he told Andrews, "75 percent of black women older than age 35 have wed at least once." (My step-sister is on her fourth marriage.)

Now, a lot of people like to beat me up about what I want, calling me unrealistic and all that other stuff. But I like what Tina Wells, CEO of Buzz Marketing had to say in the article: "The statistic that the media love to hype means nothing to me," she says. "I'm focused on living my best life, and — by doing that, I'll attract the right guy."

Amen Sista! Keep Hope Alive !


Friday, April 20, 2012

Think Like A Man

So I saw the movie, Think Like A Man, based on the best-selling book by radio host and comedian Steve Harvey. It was hilarious !!! (Man, I could stare into Michael Ealy's eyes all night.)

First let me say this: I think it was pretty smart of the movie's producers to put a dash of media folks in the film. There was Sherri Shepherd, a co-host on The View, talk show host Wendy Williams, J. Anthony Brown from The Tom Joyner Morning Show and Jamie Foster Brown, publisher of Sister2Sister magazine. This was a great strategy. I mean with representation from television, radio and magazine this guarantees that the movie will get mentioned on every media platform and plenty of POSITIVE publicity. Though they had minor roles, each person will talk up the movie because, well, they're in it. (LOL !)

Anyway, now to the movie. Did you see it? If so, what did you think of what Steve was saying or what did you think he was saying through this movie? (Those are two separate questions.) I didn't read the book, but for those who did I would love to know what you thought of the movie.

Could you relate to the female characters — Taraji Henson, the super successful COO who wanted a man who was as successful as she was;  Meagan Good, the one who always fell for "playas," guys who left her after they got the "cookie"; Regina Hall, the single mother who had to compete with her boyfriend's mother for his attention; or Gabrielle Union, who struggled to get her long-term boyfriend to grow up and commit. The college sweethearts had been together nine years and he was comfortable with things just the way they were.

Have you dated any of the male characters — the Playa, the Mama's boy, the Dreamer or the non-Committal. Well, I've dated a version of all of these guys in some form or another. (Oh yeah, Morris Chestnut makes a cameo as a self-absorbed super successful CEO).

Predictably, by the end of the movie, all the men had become better people - thanks in part to their relationships with women who required, demanded - Respect (GASP!).

Alright, alright I got the lessons Steve Harvey: 1) You must have standards. 2) No matter how successful you are, you shouldn't date a man based on what he has (or doesn't have), but what matters most is how he treats you. Does he respect you? Does he put you first? Does he make you happy?

Anyway, the movie had me thinking: that cashier in Harris Teeter who kept asking me if I was married? Maybe I should have given him my number. He looked like he had "potential." - LOL !!!

Holla at me. Let me know what you think.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012


The April issue of O, The Oprah Magazine, is dedicated to all things DELICIOUS. The theme is, "Make Your Life More Delicious."

Oprah's team was asked: What's your definition of "delicious"? Most mentioned food (homemade buttermilk biscuits, pan-fried pizza, chocolate fondue, a dirty vodka martini), some mentioned people (Ryan Gosling), some brought up pets (baby pandas, a walk at the beach with my dog) and others mentioned hobbies (connecting with a baseball, watching old movies).

Then there were those that pulled at my heart strings like:
"The sound of my son giggling."
"Hugs from my boys when I get home from work."
"Watching the sunset with my Mommom"
"Anything my mom cooks when I'm at home."
"Watching someone I love open a present."

Here are some things I think are DELICIOUS:
1) Spending time with my family (playing with my twin nephews and giving my niece big kisses on her cheeks)

2) A FREE party with good food, cool people and a great DJ for lots of DANCING !

3) A foot rub by someone special

4) A day at the spa with an exfoliating facial and aromatherapy massage

5) Achieving a long-term goal

6) Beautiful days (sunny, 75,80-degree weather) and warm nights

7) A good brunch with a veggie omelet, tasty pancakes and unlimited belinis, Thanksgiving dinner and Dessert ! (especially the mixed berry cobbler from Wegman’s – now that’s the devil)

8) Being in love, holding hands

9) A great jazzercise class with energetic, enthusiastic students

10) Witnessing my mentee graduate from college

So, I ask: What's your definition of delicious? What are some things you think are delicious?

Let me know.