Friday, July 29, 2011

Sun Flowers

Pretty Flower

I got flowers yesterday. They are beautiful — lillies, pink roses and some blue ones - lol. They weren't from a guy. But that's okay. They made me smile.

The lady who cleans our office came in, "Oh, someone loves you," she said, admiring my lovely bouquet.

No, not yet, I told her.

"My husband gives me too many flowers," she said. "He'll show up, 'Surprise!' It's too much."

I smiled, "No, it's never too much."

I tell you, we don't appreciate what we have until it's gone. I remember a time when I used to receive flowers. I think I sort of took it for granted that I would always have someone there to give me flowers.

Wow, how presumptuous I was back then - lol.

When was the last time you received flowers from a romantic interest?

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Friday, July 8, 2011

All That Glitters

They were like the modern day Cosbys: He with his Ivy League education and she with a successful, ever-growing business. On the outside they looked liked the perfect, happy couple.

Then it all fell apart.

I got a good talking to today from a friend going through a divorce. She cautioned me about my list (a successful, college-educated man, never married, no kids).

"I had the kind of man all my friends wanted," she said.

After an extravagant wedding and a romantic honeymoon in Paris, they settled in to live happily ever after. But more than a decade later he was gone and she was dealing with raising a child alone.

"I felt more lonely in my marriage than I do today," she explained.

She talked of how her accomplished husband's insecurities clashed with her growing ambition.

I understood what she was saying: just because a man was successful and college-educated didn't mean I was going to be happy.

"Be careful what you wish for," she warned.

Marriage is hard work, my friend noted.

I haven't hidden my desire for a mate, a partner, someone to share my life with - til death do us part. However, I've also written on this blog how I didn't know how to be married and wondered if I'd be a good wife.

"A husband isn't going to make you happy. You have to already be happy with yourself first," she lectured.

I know. I know. I've heard it all before. But it still doesn't take away the sting of loneliness.

What do you think?
Let me know your thoughts.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Today, I am Working

How's your 4th of July holiday?

I'm at work right now - pounding out a freelance piece. But I'm thinking about the movie, About a Boy. The 2002 film starred Hugh Grant, a single man who learns how to become a caring and responsible adult through his friendship with a curious little boy.

In the film, Grant's character notes that You can tell a person's status in life by how they spend the holidays. It was Christmas and Grant was the single man invited to the home of his married friends.

Today I am working. So, what does that say about me?


But seriously I think Grant's character makes a point.

We single people usually gather together and make our own fun - especially on holidays like today. There was a time when you headed to someone's home on the 4th. You would eat some good BBQ, play games and meet other fun singles. You left with a phone number and a few new friends.

But I've learned as you get older, the cookout invitations decrease. People you used to see or hang out with are now, well, "booed up." They have plans with their significant other.

And me? Today I am working. Does that mean I care more about my career than my social life? I don't know. (these freelance gigs are paying the bills)

But I ask: How are you spending this holiday and what does it say about your status in life?

Let me know your thoughts.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Three Strikes - and You're Out?

I'm working on a series about successful entrepreneurs. One mentioned in another publication that a family member once told her, "No one should ever get three strikes, because if they did it once, they're going to do it again."


It reminds me of the Maya Angelou quote, "The first time someone shows you who they are believe them."

But I tend to want to see the good in people, so I often give people the benefit of the doubt — maybe he/she's having a bad day or they'll do better the next time or ...

I mean, don't you think people deserve another chance, a second chance? From my own experience, when I make a mistake, I try to correct it as best I can and try my best not to make it again. You know, learning from your mistakes.

But then again, I've run into those who were dishonest and no matter how many chances I've given them to clean up their act, I often realize — late in the game — that I should have taken them for who they were — the first time.

I once confronted a guy I was dating about a lie he had told. He apologized profusely and said he was "going through some things and it wouldn't happen again." Well, it wasn't even a week later when he lied again. I looked at him and said, "You haven't changed."

I do believe people show us who they really are early on, (maybe not the first time) yet we decide to ignore the signs - until they bite us and we're left bitter, hurt and disappointed. And I'm not just talking about romantic relationships — friends and family too.

What about you?
Do you think it's a little harsh to dismiss someone the first time out or do you
give someone a few chances to redeem themselves?
Does it depend on the situation?
Does it depend on the person?

Let me know your thoughts.