Friday, July 8, 2011

All That Glitters

They were like the modern day Cosbys: He with his Ivy League education and she with a successful, ever-growing business. On the outside they looked liked the perfect, happy couple.

Then it all fell apart.

I got a good talking to today from a friend going through a divorce. She cautioned me about my list (a successful, college-educated man, never married, no kids).

"I had the kind of man all my friends wanted," she said.

After an extravagant wedding and a romantic honeymoon in Paris, they settled in to live happily ever after. But more than a decade later he was gone and she was dealing with raising a child alone.

"I felt more lonely in my marriage than I do today," she explained.

She talked of how her accomplished husband's insecurities clashed with her growing ambition.

I understood what she was saying: just because a man was successful and college-educated didn't mean I was going to be happy.

"Be careful what you wish for," she warned.

Marriage is hard work, my friend noted.

I haven't hidden my desire for a mate, a partner, someone to share my life with - til death do us part. However, I've also written on this blog how I didn't know how to be married and wondered if I'd be a good wife.

"A husband isn't going to make you happy. You have to already be happy with yourself first," she lectured.

I know. I know. I've heard it all before. But it still doesn't take away the sting of loneliness.

What do you think?
Let me know your thoughts.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I think its really hard to be a black man in America, and the pressure is so great at times they will blame you when things go wrong.