Monday, May 30, 2011


L is for the way you look at me
O is for the only one I see
V is very, very, extraordinary
E is even more than anyone that you adore can

When was the last time someone told you they loved you?
I'm not talking about your family or friends.

I'm talking about a romantic partner, someone you were
seriously dating, someone you were intimate with for a
length of time.

So think about it, when was the last time someone told you they loved you?

Now think about this: How did it feel?

I remember the last time. He got on his knees and said, "Lottie I love you." I recognized that it must have taken a lot for him to do that, but I didn't feel he was sincere. In fact the relationship ended shortly after he confessed his "love."

I also remember hearing those words from someone I knew really meant them. And I tell you, it was the absolute best feeling.

I believe that everyone wants to be loved - unconditionally (in fact I think love is a human need). I believe everyone wants to know that they matter to someone. I believe each of us wants someone in our lives who cares about us deeply.

What do you think?
(see this is what I get for watching The Notebook last night...)

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Life or Death

I know you guys think I'm just man-hungry — Poor Lottie, desperate for a man. But being in a committed, monogamous relationship, having a caring and loving partner is more than just wanting to have a companion or someone to share my life with. It's also about what we all need in this life: SEX !

Huh? What? Yep, I said it.

According to Dr. Mehmet Oz, "studies have shown that having sex once or twice a week increases immune function, reduces stress, improves mood, lowers blood pressure, and burns calories." In fact, in the January issue of O Magazine the doc included SEX as one of the 8 New Year's Resolutions to Make this Year.

Wow. I would like to lose a few pounds. I am pretty stressed-out these days. And I don't want to get sick. His recommendation sounds better than counting calories, meditating or popping pills.

Dr. Oz repeated the importance of a healthy sex life on a recent episode of The Wendy Williams Show. He said that if you have sex at least twice a week you will live three years longer. And during a taping of Oprah's All Stars earlier this year, Dr.Oz said having sex 3 times a week would be even better. He noted that if you have more than 200 orgasms a year, you can reduce your physiologic age by six years.

I mean, I want to live longer, don't you?

So for me it's more than just wanting a mate. This is a serious matter — a life or death situation.


Monday, May 16, 2011

Twilight Zone

I decided to ride the train this morning; you know, to try to save a lil money on gas. Plus it was a gorgeous day, a good opportunity to get some exercise in.

I sat on a platform bench, opened my book and waited for the train. A man with a bike approached me:
"Excuse me, can I talk to you for a minute."

I looked up. The man had on sneakers, dirty jeans with blue gloves in his back pocket and a stained white shirt. He had a long beard, with two small black rubber bands holding it together. Oh, and he had a white t-shirt over his head. I assumed the shirt was covering locs. In fact, the shirt on his head was cleaner than the shirt on his body. Dark shades covered his eyes.

"wassup," I asked.

"Well, I think you're a very nice-looking person and I just wanted to know if I could take you out some time."

Was he serious?

"I have a boyfriend," I said.

"Well, you know, everything don't last forever. Nothing's 110%."


"So, what's your name?"

"You on your way to work?" I asked.

Yeah, he said.

"What do you do?"

"I do a bunch of this and that, you know," he said. "I do some home maintenance. I do car detailing, that's where I'm going now."

Oh, okay.

"Have you ever heard of steel pan drums?"


"You know, the steel drums?"


"Well, I have a band, a steel pan drum band and we play at the Caribbean Festival every year on Georgia Ave. You been?"

Yeah, I've been. Years ago.

"Well, my band is always out there. We practice a lot - on Wednesday nights, sometimes on weekends."

You live around here? I asked him.

"Right now, I'm staying with my sister," he said. "But I plan to move one day."

How old are you?

"31. Anything wrong with that?" he said, taking off his shades.


"I been talkin' to you all this time and you never told me your name."

"What's your name?" I asked.

"My friends call me Pete."

"Is that your name?"

"My birth name is Ali, but people call me Pete."

I heard the train and got up.

Pete handed me a card of a smiling man with long locs: "If you ever need someone to talk to you can give me a call."

I got on the train, but got off several stops away to transfer downtown. I was standing on the platform when I was approached again by a guy with dirty jeans and a white t-shirt. (Is this a new style I hadn't heard about?)

"Hey beautiful."

I mumbled a hello. He tried to engage me in conversation, but I hurried away. Not again.

What was this? Am I in the Twilight Zone?
Why am I attracting these guys? Why do they think I would be interested in them? I mean I don't think I'm dressed provocatively (I have on black slacks, a blouse and some white sneakers).

But most importantly why am I not attracting the type of guy I want?


Wednesday, May 11, 2011


Monday I was on the metro escalator and there was a man in front of me putting on his belt. His pants was so low I could see his underwear.

Now, notice I said, "man." This was not a little boy. This was not a teenager. This was a grown man, an adult.

I'm thinking: "You know you too old to be wearing your pants sagging so low." And then people wonder why they can't get a job? Who's gonna hire this guy? Seriously.

Anyway, at age what do you think young men should stop wearing sagging pants - 18? 21? 25?