Wednesday, April 21, 2010

"Finding" A Husband

As you guys know, I was involved in a little "situation" last week while studying for my comprehensive exams.

I have cancelled my online dating site subscriptions.
It's been quite an experience to say the least.

Let's see. In the three months I had an online account:
I met an Indian guy who assaulted me; had dinner with a really nice guy who never called back; had long daily conversations with a man from Chicago; talked to a 46-year-old White guy with two grown children; and unknowingly went out with a man who was nearly engaged.

It's the most I've dated in a couple of years. It was good to get out and meet, just talk to different people from all walks of life. These are people I would have never met in my every day routine.

The other day, I was talking to one of my guy friends who also happens to be a pastor. He told me I should never have been on a dating web site in the first place — not if I was looking for a husband.


He said, women are not suppose to go "looking for a husband. A man is suppose to find you." As a Christian, he told me, I was suppose to trust God and that HE will find me a suitable mate.

"Do you trust God?" he asked.

I argued that I was being proactive because my life had boiled down to work, school and Jazzercise. I needed to at least get out of the house and meet people. You know the whole, "faith without works is dead," thing. I told him I was not going to find my husband stuck in the house.

"There you go again," he said. "You're not suppose to FIND your husband. God is."

What do you guys think of this?

Monday, April 12, 2010

Weekend Update

Before I get into my weekend news, I wanted to ask if anyone had seen the new Black reality TV shows on VH1 last night. Let's see: There was A Family Business, singers Brandy and Ray Js' new show with their parents, Basketball Wives produced by Shaquille O'Neal's ex-wife Shaunie (are they divorced yet?) and What Chilli Wants, featuring Rozonda "Chilli" Thomas from the famed '90s group TLC, looking for her soul mate (what do you think of her Checklist?). And last Thursday, LisaRaye's (of The Player's Club and All of Us fame) new reality show, The Real McCoy, debuted on TV One.

My guilty pleasure is Reality TV and that's a whole lotta TV (lol).

So, on to the news: Remember the blog I wrote a few weeks ago about a 43-year-old guy I met online who, after the first date, would call me early in the a.m., text me several times a day and declared that he wanted me to be his girlfriend (after only one date)? Well, I learned this weekend that he's been talking marriage with another young lady he met online.

Now, I don't know when they met online, but since our first and only date last month, this dude has continued to call and text me. In fact, last weekend he text me, "I Miss You! When Can I See You?" Then he called to see if he could bring flowers to my office — that never happened. This past weekend he called me about 4 times on Friday, a few times on Saturday and at least twice yesterday on Sunday, still declaring that he wanted to make me his girlfriend ("I'm trying to get with you"). I still have the text messages from this weekend, "hope you do well on your test", "missing you" and "thinking about us."

Now, from what I understand, this other young lady is serious about this guy and believes he is "the one." She's seriously considering marrying him. He's obviously swept her off her feet. Remember, he's very good at compliments. On our first date, he couldn't stop telling me how much he liked my hair or how he thought I was so beautiful. He keeps asking me to go to New York with him (he's from Brooklyn) or take a train ride down to Mississippi (he works for Amtrak). And ends each phone call with, "I miss you" (after only one date?). I usually say nothing. Recently he asked if I was interested in having children. He thinks I'll be a good mother. On Saturday evening he confessed, "We just have this connection."

Really? (Why didn't I feel it?)
Anyway, I wonder how many other "connections" old dude has.

I'm not into this guy at all, but this young lady is. Unfortunately, he's playing games — with hearts. That's not cool. You don't do that.
I haven't heard from him today. I wonder if she confronted him - or if she even knows.

What do you think is up with this guy?
Do you think he's just trolling online sites to see who will bite?

How would you feel if you found out that someone you wanted to marry was doing this? What would you do?


Wednesday, April 7, 2010

In Search Of

One of the most fun things about this online dating thing is reading the different profiles. It gives you a glimpse into a person's mindset, a sense of who they are, what they are looking for and if you are a good fit.

Here's one from a 36-year-old gentleman who is currently separated and who lives with his kids. I found it amusing:

I'm an attractive, formally educated, sort of bad boy (nothing illegal) who is looking for a woman with more traditional values. I have good morals, will not swear (around your kids), won't show my a** in public, but, i'm spontaneous, somewhat outgoing, can converse on a wide variety of issues and fit in a lot of different arenas (i'm a teacher...public school) and i love a good woman who knows (and i mean really knows) how to treat a man. I'm not a handyman, but what i lack in the carpentry/engineering skills, i make up for in many other ways. i'm definitely all man. i love women and only women! lol. i don't wear pink and have questionable behaviors (pseudo-gay stuff). i like to smell good and dress nice but i'm not in the mirror more than you nor do i dress too nice....too color coordinated. i want a woman that allows a man to be a man. a little drama is nice, true indeed, but alotta women (that i have dated) want to challenge and browbeat men to death in order to get their way. and please, please don't be the type that holds grudges (and other stuff) till your man gives in. my best friend and i were just talking about "our next woman". we both agreed that we would strongly consider a woman from a different country, (and you may be asking why) because women from other countries are still extremely beautiful but they're not as fussy, not so set on getting their way on every issue.....(if you have serious issues with this last statement....ya might want to stop reading) i'm a libra so i can be alotta things, indecisive and spontaneous, and sometimes boring and routine. take me as i am....i can be a pleasant surprise.

What are your thoughts on this "sort of bad boy"?

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Sister Love

Yesterday, my sister told me that she believes that I will be successful.


It really made me feel good to hear her say that. It warmed my heart because my sister and I get into it a lot. I mean she's said some really mean things to me before and hurt my feelings in the past. I don't agree with a lot of her decisions and she's really stubborn. We're growing and maturing. Sometimes she even comes to her big sister for advice - and listens ! (though not nearly enough)

But I love her because she's my sister, my only blood sister.

What about you?
Have your siblings or another family member ever surprised you with encouraging news?