They were like the modern day Cosbys: He with his Ivy League education and she with a successful, ever-growing business. On the outside they looked liked the perfect, happy couple.
Then it all fell apart.
I got a good talking to today from a friend going through a divorce. She cautioned me about my list (a successful, college-educated man, never married, no kids).
"I had the kind of man all my friends wanted," she said.
After an extravagant wedding and a romantic honeymoon in Paris, they settled in to live happily ever after. But more than a decade later he was gone and she was dealing with raising a child alone.
"I felt more lonely in my marriage than I do today," she explained.
She talked of how her accomplished husband's insecurities clashed with her growing ambition.
I understood what she was saying: just because a man was successful and college-educated didn't mean I was going to be happy.
"Be careful what you wish for," she warned.
Marriage is hard work, my friend noted.
I haven't hidden my desire for a mate, a partner, someone to share my life with - til death do us part. However, I've also written on this blog how I didn't know how to be married and wondered if I'd be a good wife.
"A husband isn't going to make you happy. You have to already be happy with yourself first," she lectured.
I know. I know. I've heard it all before. But it still doesn't take away the sting of loneliness.
What do you think?
Let me know your thoughts.
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1 comment:
I think its really hard to be a black man in America, and the pressure is so great at times they will blame you when things go wrong.
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