Monday, August 20, 2012

A Fat Black Woman

Last week I started decluttering my attic. I found things I haven't used in seven years — old printers, computers, jewelry cases, photo frames and a host of other things. There was a lot of paper.

Going through my stuff I realized that I had loads and loads of information and material on weight loss, dieting. Despite what Alice Randall thinks, I don't want to be fat. You remember Randall don't you? She wrote a New York Times op-ed piece in May about why Black women are fat. Her controversial commentary set off a firestorm in the Black community.

In her essay, Randall noted "many black women are fat because we want to be."

Well, contrary to what Ms. Randall says, I'm not fat because I want to be. Decluttering my attic reminded me of my more than 20-year struggle with weight. Upstairs I found material for Weight Watchers, eDiets, Jenny Craig. There were food journals, a pocket encyclopedia of dieting and weight loss, and books such as Dr. Ian Smith's Smash Diet. I saw information from the YMCA's National Body Challenge that I had participated in years ago and there was a folder with article after article on losing weight:
"Master Your Metabolism with Jillian Michaels"
"Drop 10 pounds in 5 weeks"
"Ten Super Foods You Should Eat"
"Top 10 GI Breakfasts"
"The Last 5 pounds Diet"
"6-minute meals for 6-pack abs"
"The Best Age-Defying Diet in the World"

I mean except for pills and surgery, I've tried it all, even fasting. In fact, the last time I did a fast I lost a lot of weight in a small amount of time. But once the fast ended I gained all my weight back. sigh...

The latest study I read is that eating dessert at breakfast helps you lose weight because it curbs your craving early in the day. Wow. Now that's something I can get with. I love dessert! (lol). Check out the article here from

Anyway, I've been teaching Jazzercise for nearly 8 years. I teach a minimum of four days a week — sometimes I teach 6 classes a week. I attend early morning boot camps throughout the year,  which means some days I'm working out twice a day (morning boot camp and evening Jazzercise classes). I also do yoga when I can afford it and I try to find vouchers that will allow me to try new things at a discounted cost. For example, this spring I took a 6-week Pilates class and I recently bought a voucher for bellydancing (fun !!!). And when I'm not doing a boot camp or yoga, I put on my sneakers and run.

Though I workout daily and try my best to eat healthy — fitting in my fruits and vegetables — I am still not thin. Unlike Ms. Randall who prayed for fat thighs as a child, I've been working my ass off for two decades trying to lose my fat thighs. (And despite all the exercise that I do, I still have them.)

Ms. Randall also insinuated that Black women are fat because their men liked them that way. She wrote: "I know many black women whose sane, handsome, successful husbands worry when their women start losing weight."

Could you please find me one of those sane, handsome, successful men?

Wait a minute, I did date a Nigerian guy who was upset when I started losing weight. But I can't vouch for his sanity. (LOL !!!)  

My weight loss journey has been long and hard and continuous. Over the years I've lost and gained, lost and gained, lost and gained. It's a daily struggle for me to lose weight. It's even harder for me to keep it off.

I'm still searching for that formula that's going to work for me.

What's been your weight loss journey?
Are you happy with your size? Why or why not?
What's your biggest struggle? Food? Exercise?
Do you think Black men prefer their women thick?

holla at me...

1 comment:

SingLikeSassy said...

I've been on a diet since I was 5 years old.

I, too, have gained, lost, gained, lost, gained some more, lost a little, gained more, lost nothing.

I've done it via healthy means and via unhealthy means and still, I am fat.

Being fat depresses me.

I decided that THIS year I would lose the weight and/or stop talking about it. Last week I decided that I will probably never be thin and that's just that. I am not going to stress myself out and beat myself over this quest to have jutting pelvic bones anymore.

So, at this point, I will do my best to be and stay fit, I will dress the body I have as well as I can and that's that.

As for the men, yeah, I'm not sure what circles she circulates in but the brothers I know aren't in to fluffy/fat/overweight women. At all.