Monday, August 6, 2012

Like Father, Like Son?

When I go out with guys, I always wonder who taught them how to treat women.

I've dated guys who grew up with both parents, had a father in the home and a male role model, but for whatever reason some of these young men were disrespectful, dishonest, mean, selfish, etc.

On the other hand, one of my most loving boyfriends grew up in a single parent home. His father was not in his life at all. But he did have a very strong relationship with his grandfather and his uncle. He was a mama's boy for sure. However, he was kind, caring and honest. He was generous, respectful and a true gentleman; sweet and super sensitive.

Then I've met guys who grew up seeing love and respect in the home between their parents and mirrored that in their own relationships. Haven't you run into that guy that says, my parents have been married for 30 years and I want that too?

I know a man whose parents have been together since they were teenagers. His father adores his mother and treats her like his queen. But this dude is just the opposite. His marriage was shortlived because of his infidelity and he has several children by different women. He doesn't want "til death do us part."

So I ask: Do you think there's a correlation between a man growing up with a father in the home or having a male presence in his life, and how he treats women?

Have you met guys who grew up with a father, but they don't treat women well?

Let me know your thoughts.


BPC said...

I have seen both. Most common, I have seen men who have fathers cheat like it was nothing. Many times, if I looked closer, their fathers cheated so they didn't think anything of it. That's not every guy though.

SingLikeSassy said...

I don't think you can just look at the fact that a guy had a dad in the home and assume he should be chivalrous etc. because daddy coulda been an asshole, a cheater, a liar etc.

And then, you can't assume because daddy wasn't isht that the son won't be.

OR maybe daddy was in the house and was a fine upstanding fellow and mama wasn't isht.

It's about choices, really, and a person can choose to be a good person and treat people with care and respect or they can be an asshole. I think it's really that simple. Folks know right from wrong.