Thursday, January 5, 2012

In Sickness and in Health

The wedding has been postponed.

My friend met her fiance online. After two years of dating he proposed. She happily accepted and started planning a fabulous wedding. She got her dress, found a church and put a down payment on a reception hall. He moved in.

Everything was on track.

Then she learned her aunt, who had cancer, had only a little time left so she postponed her Aug. 5th nuptials. Her mother's sister was dear to her and she didn't know when it would be her last day.

Well her aunt lost her battle with cancer in October. My friend, who has taken medication for manic depression, became depressed shortly after the funeral.

He couldn't handle it.

Her fiance moved out of their home and in with his mother. He claimed that my friend needed to work out her "issues."


I went to visit my friend today and she is not the same. She usually has a very gracious and positive attitude. I'm used to her being bubbly, outgoing, smiling. But she barely got out the bed to answer the door when I knocked. She was sluggish, trying her best to put on a good face.

A new date has not been set for the wedding. She still has her dress and she believes her deposits are good for up to a year.

But she's having second thoughts about her prospective groom.

His picture is still on the wall. But she's wondering if she really wants to marry someone who will run every time she has "issues."


What do you think?
Do you think her fiance did the right thing by leaving?
What about "for better or for worse," "in sickness and in health"?
Wouldn't you want someone who would be able to handle your ups and downs?

Let me know your thoughts.


Tiffany In Houston said...

Your friend is right to have concerns. I would not marry a man who would just leave because I had depression issues. Surely in the 2 years they had been dating he knew this.

You didn't mention if they had been to counseling but if they haven't, then they need to get there STAT. Maybe they rift in their relationship can be healed. She needs to find out NOW.

It's easy to get married and hard to get un-married.

Anonymous said...

Very sad on all fronts. Tell her to walk away. She needs a more reliable partner. She should also seek counseling.

SingLikeSassy said...

He did the right thing because now she can see who she is (was) really marrying and decide if that's the kind of person she wants to spend a lifetime with, make children with etc.

She shouldn't lay in the bed feeling sad about it though, go talk to someone. If she's still wanting to get married, THEY should go to a counselor.

Marriage is serious business. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. (I'm looking at YOU Kim Kardashian)

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure about this one. We only know one side of the story - her side. Maybe she's not the only one having second thoughts. Depression isn't an easy issue to deal with and we don't know how she really handled this tragic sitation at home. He's got to live with her, none of us do. They aren't married yet and maybe this was a wakeup call for both of them.