Saturday, September 17, 2011

The Caller

On my way to Jazzericse this morning, I was listening to the Audrey Chapman Show. The relationship expert was talking to Ralph Richard Banks, author of the new book Is Marriage for White People? How the African American Marriage Decline Affects Everyone.

An older gentlemen called into the show. He talked about how great Black women were, how they were the backbone of the Black community and a lot of other nice, uplifting stuff.

Audrey asked him if he was married. He said no, but had lived with someone for 15 years. His lady love had died. At 58, he's now realizing how great she was.

Audrey asked him why he never married her.

He explained that he was a writer and never, really had a steady job. He believed that a husband is suppose to provide and felt that he was not financially stable enough to get married.

"But what was the difference between living with someone for 15 years and marrying them?" Audrey asked.

This man hemmed and hawed and gave some type of non-answer.

"She probably wanted to get married," he finally surmised with a bit of regret in his voice.

But Audrey made it clear: She wanted to get married.

It was sad to hear because this lady had been with this man for I don't know how long, lived with him for 15 years and died without ever calling him husband. And at nearly 60 he's thinking about what could have been.


Maybe she didn't want to get married. Obviously she stayed with this man for 15 years without a ring. Maybe she was content with the way things were. If she was unhappy she would have left - right?
Do you think they would have married if she had demanded they get married (or else I'm out)?
Do you think he used his financial situation as an excuse?

Let me know your thoughts.

1 comment:

TNDRHRT said...

She stayed with him because she didn't want to be without a man. She took what he was offering. Companionship with no ring. She may or not have been content with the situation, but her actions (staying without a ring) said that she didn't want to be alone for whatever reason.