Monday, March 21, 2011

How Long?

This weekend I had the great pleasure of participating in a community service event. I worked with a group of women in transitional housing and our task was to create a skit with puppets based on a hypothetical situation.

In our situation:
A lady was 40 years old and had been with her boyfriend for 8 years.
She really wanted to get married. All her friends were married with
children, a house and a dog. She wanted the same. However, her boyfriend was not stepping up to the plate. Her solution was to give him an ultimatum.

Well, the moral of our story was: Wait on The Lord. And there were several bible scriptures listed that talked about the value of patience.

I really enjoyed working with my group and creating the puppets to illustrate our skit.

But later in the day, after all was said and done I wondered about our hypothetical situation. This lady had met this man when she was 32, now 40 - How long should she continue to wait - until he has an epiphany, got his finances straight, sowed his wild oats?

I know someone who was with a guy for 10 years. She gave him an ultimatum and well, they got married. She had the wedding of her dreams. Less than a year later they were separated.

So my questions are:
1) How long is too long? Does it take 8 years to know whether or not you want to marry someone? How long would you be willing to wait? At what point do you stop waiting and move on?

2) Do you think ultimatums work? Do you think she should or should not give him an ultimatum? Do you think some men just need a little "pushing" to realize they love you and can't spend their life without you?

Let me know your thoughts.


Anonymous said...

Excuse my French, but there is no way in hell that I'm waiting 10 or 8 or even 4 years to wait on a brother or other to ask me to marry him. I guess everyone has their own special circumstances, but my patience is starting to wear thin the older I get. At this point in my life, I'm only looking at men who want to get married, and I don't mean five years from now. So, no ultimatum needed in my case. That's my two cents.

SingLikeSassy said...

Eight years was seven years too long if she knew she wanted to be married and have a family and all that. She should have clarified where the relationship was going then and now that they have coasted for eight years an ultimatum is not going to make a difference. He knows what she wants now so unless she is really prepared to leave she can forget wasting time and energy on ultimatums.