I was in the mall on Saturday to return an item I had bought a month ago. I was headed to Macy's when this guy walking toward me stopped and stared at me. Well, I thought he was weird and kept walking. Then he called my name.
"Lottie," he said.
I stopped. How did he know my name?
"Lottie," he repeated. "It's me 'Anthony' from Mt. Vernon Square." The lady he was with also stopped and stared at me.
I froze. This is a guy I went out with when I first moved to the D.C., area. We lived in the same apartment complex. I had not seen him in more than a decade.
I was shocked. He looked horrible. I literally did not recognize him. When we went out he was tall (6'4), slender, athletically toned, strong, almost nice-looking.
This was not the same person - couldn't be. The person standing in front of me was overweight, sloppy, unkempt. He looked tired and had aged about 20 years. Life had not been kind to him. I do remember that he smoked - which I hated and it was probably one of the MANY reasons I never saw him again.
"Wow, you've gained weight," is all I could muster before scurrying away.
I had no interest in talking to him or catching up. I don't have good memories of our time together. In fact, when I look at him now I have to ask myself: "What were you thinking?"
I had to have been desperate or lonely or both. On one hand, I'm happy that I did not settle for a person who really wasn't about much. On the other hand, I'm mad at myself for spending precious time with such a loser - time that I can't get back.
I realize now that he didn't deserve me. But I didn't know my worth back then. Just think about all the GOOD guys I could have dated while I was kicking it with him. Oh, well. You live and you learn.
Thoughts?
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2 comments:
Don't think of it as time wasted! Think of is as lesson learned! We have to suffer the bad in order to appreciate the Good or Better!
Life is about learning from our mistakes and making that investment in the future. Those things in the past has helped us to know what we need and deserve in the future for ourselves.
S/N - Bet you got out of there in a hurry!, LOL
I guess what bothered me most about this exchange is the fact that you felt the need to tell him he'd gained weight. That seemed unnecessarily rude to me. I'm a plus size person and trust, I know I'm overweight. You probably won't have liked that said to you.
Sorry, just had to note that it didn't sit right with me.
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