Sunday, October 17, 2010

Bad Connection

Remember Chicago?

Well, he wants to come visit me for my birthday - Nov. 4th, which is 2 weeks away. The thing is - I don't like him.

But I don't know how to tell him that.

As you may recall, I met him on Match in January. We talked or text or emailed everyday for about 7 months. (He would call early in the morning and lovingly tell me -"I wish you were here.") For months I enjoyed talking to him and looked forward to his emails and texts throughout the day. He filled a void in my life.

But then I met him.

On the surface, he had all the qualities I was looking for: perfect age (38) and a college-educated professional, never married, no kids. But there was something about him that was just, I don't know... weird !

I didn't feel a connection at all. But obviously he did and has booked his flight to come visit for my birthday weekend.

I don't want him to come.

I have a few rituals for my birthday. I go to the spa every year and I have brunch with about 4 or 5 of my close friends.

This year, I want to do the same. I want to go to the spa. I want to have brunch with my friends and maybe see an exhibit or Tyler Perry's new movie "For Colored Girls Who Considered Suicide When The Rainbow Is Enuf," which is coming out Nov. 5th. Check out the trailer here: .

Even though it would be nice to finally have someone to spend my birthday with for once, I don't want to spend my birthday trying to entertain someone I really don't like. I want to enjoy my birthday with my friends, not stressed with some dude.

I want to call him and say don't come, but he's already bought his ticket (he emailed me his itinerary).

What do I do?
What are your thoughts?

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

how in the h-e-double toothpicks does someone book a flight without first talking to you? he'd be a$$ out as far as i'm concerned. you SHOULD spend YOUR birthday doing exactly what YOU want, not being forced to entertain someone you don't like, someone who doesn't respect you enough to discuss a decision like this before he makes it.

kblog said...

I would ask him not to come and explain why. If you were aware that he was planning to purchase a ticket and didn't say anything then, I would ask him not to come and offer to reimburse him for the ticket. However, if you were not aware, I don't think you should offer.

BPC said...

It's YOUR birthday, not his birthday!! You should NOT have to spend your birthday entertaining someone you don't even like!!! Boo on him for buying a ticket and not talking to you about it first. In fact, I agree that's disrespectful and pushy. Tell him not to come and that you do not see yourself in a relationship with him for whatever reasons you choose to give. That's it. I would be really mad at him for buying a ticket for MY birthday and not telling me. That's like trying to force you to spend your birthday with him. No good.

SingLikeSassy said...

I'm like anonymous, dude would be short. And I agree partially with what Kblog said in that I would tell him not come and explain why (It's not you, it's ME), but, I don't get at all why you should reimburse him for a ticket he up jumped the boogie and bought without checking to see if you even wanted him to come.

TNDRHRT said...

Tell him that you are not interested and he should not have booked a ticket. Where does he plan to stay? I don't do uncomfortable and this would make me VERY uncomfortable. I would have told him from the very beginning not to come for my birthday. You don't want him to ruin your festivities. Tell him.