Saturday, April 16, 2011

Edward - Part II

My phone rang yesterday afternoon.

“Hello,” I said.

“Why haven’t I heard from you,” the caller demanded.

“Who is this?” I asked.

“This Edward. You took my number out your phone?”

As you recall, I met Edward last Monday at Au Bon Pain. I didn't save his number in my phone, which is why I didn't recognize it.

“So, what’s up? Why haven’t I heard from you?” he asked again.

“Girls, don’t call boys,” I explained.

“First of all, I’m a man,” Edward said. “And baby you need to get off that theory."

“Well, a MAN is suppose to court a woman,” I explained patiently.

“I don’t chase, baby,” he said.

“Chase?” I said. (Did I say chase?)

Then he went into his spiel:
“It’s 10 to 1 out here, so why would I chase any woman?
For everyone I lose, I gain 4.

“You need to get out of that pride thing and get with the program baby.
Men sitting at home chilling; women working all day and paying the bills.”

I interrupted him: “That’s not me.”

But he continued:
“You got an official dude right here and don’t know what to do with him.
I’m official like a referee whistle. I ain’t one of these clowns.
I handle my business. I’ll take you, spoil you, show you love. But I got to feel the love. I got to know you interested.

Edward wasn’t finished:
“I turn down women everyday. I mess with who I want to mess with.
I don’t play games. I see something. I go get it. I keep it 100.

“I know you probably got a lot of dudes chasing you. I can expect that.
All I care about is how you treat me.”

Then he got me upset:
“A lot of dudes, man sometimes I don’t know who’s wearing the pants and who wearing the skirts.
We suppose to be kings out here, but some dudes acting like princesses.
There ain’t never been a woman at the White House and it ain’t never gone be one either.”

I had had enough.

“I gotta go,” I said.

“When can I see you?” Edward asked.

“Call me Sunday.”

LOL – I know it sounds crazy. I know Edward is a chauvinistic little thug, but he amuses me.

Plus, he’s great fodder for my blog.

Any thoughts on what Edward said?


SingLikeSassy said...

Stop talking to this stupid ass Edward.

Anonymous said...

Fun, but why waste your valuable time?

BPC said...

Please don't waste your time. No amount of entertainment is worth it. He could be really crazy.

Drea said...

“I know you probably got a lot of dudes chasing you. I can expect that.

Do you think he means "he can RESPECT that" LOL

Yeah, keep talking to him. He is cracking me up. Can you ask him what he means by official? I notice he keeps using that word.