My phone rang yesterday afternoon.
“Hello,” I said.
“Why haven’t I heard from you,” the caller demanded.
“Who is this?” I asked.
“This Edward. You took my number out your phone?”
As you recall, I met Edward last Monday at Au Bon Pain. I didn't save his number in my phone, which is why I didn't recognize it.
“So, what’s up? Why haven’t I heard from you?” he asked again.
“Girls, don’t call boys,” I explained.
“First of all, I’m a man,” Edward said. “And baby you need to get off that theory."
“Well, a MAN is suppose to court a woman,” I explained patiently.
“I don’t chase, baby,” he said.
“Chase?” I said. (Did I say chase?)
Then he went into his spiel:
“It’s 10 to 1 out here, so why would I chase any woman?
For everyone I lose, I gain 4.
“You need to get out of that pride thing and get with the program baby.
Men sitting at home chilling; women working all day and paying the bills.”
I interrupted him: “That’s not me.”
But he continued:
“You got an official dude right here and don’t know what to do with him.
I’m official like a referee whistle. I ain’t one of these clowns.
I handle my business. I’ll take you, spoil you, show you love. But I got to feel the love. I got to know you interested.
Edward wasn’t finished:
“I turn down women everyday. I mess with who I want to mess with.
I don’t play games. I see something. I go get it. I keep it 100.
“I know you probably got a lot of dudes chasing you. I can expect that.
All I care about is how you treat me.”
Then he got me upset:
“A lot of dudes, man sometimes I don’t know who’s wearing the pants and who wearing the skirts.
We suppose to be kings out here, but some dudes acting like princesses.
There ain’t never been a woman at the White House and it ain’t never gone be one either.”
I had had enough.
“I gotta go,” I said.
“When can I see you?” Edward asked.
“Call me Sunday.”
LOL – I know it sounds crazy. I know Edward is a chauvinistic little thug, but he amuses me.
Plus, he’s great fodder for my blog.
Any thoughts on what Edward said?