A Strong Black Woman?

Last month I attended an event and there were several young African American women there. I would guess that they were in their mid-20s. During a discussion, two of them felt the need to debate every little point. They were argumentative, at times shouting to voice their displeasure or disagreement with others.

They wanted to be heard. I understand. But sometimes I felt that they just wanted folks to know how smart they were. I wanted to say, “Sweetheart, just because you haven’t heard of something or haven’t seen something, doesn’t mean it’s not true or that it doesn’t exist.”


In her article, "The Strong Black Woman Syndrome," journalist Kimberly Seals Allers writes, "I am afraid that we are unintentionally breaking down our families and creating a dangerous legacy." The article is featured on the blog, momlogic.com. Please read it here .

Allers writes in the piece:

"When we perpetuate the dangerous myth of black women as indefatigable, unshakable, and tireless, we are not allowed to be whole human beings with a full suite of emotions. Some of those emotions, which we as humans are entitled to experience, include being vulnerable, needy, and, for lack of a better word, scared sh*tless. We have a right to be that."

Allers asks if we are damaging ourselves and our families with our strength or our 'I don't need anybody or anything' attitudes.

She writes, "Sometimes we do need help, and sometimes we are not okay."

What do you think?
Do you think our "Strong Black Woman Sydrome" sometimes hinders us, our families?

Do you think this impacts our ability to have loving, lasting intimate relationships?
(some men are turned off by what they call "strong black women.")

Do you think you'll be seen as weak if you reveal your vulnerability or allow someone to see that you may not have it all together?

Think about how we look at women who can't seem to hold it together at work, who may be a little emotional. Are we judgmental?

There are many who believe they have to put on a strong face to the outside world - at work, etc. —  but what about at home? Shouldn't you be able to let down your guard and share your fears and tears with the ones you love?

I think there's a delicate balance that ALL women have to achieve — showing people that we're no pushovers and at the same time, also showing that we are compassionate and caring human beings.

What are your thoughts?