I may need to move back to Mississippi: The slower pace. Family. The good home-cooked meals (I can just taste my grandma's peach cobbler). The low cost of living.
But most of all, I have no trouble attracting men.
They like my voluptuous curves and surprisingly don't seem to mind my natural hair.
When I was there for Christmas, I met a nice young man at Target, a single father, mild mannered.
During my most recent trip to Mississippi, I met another nice young man. I was looking for a comforter set in Bed, Bath and Beyond when he walked up to me; told me that I looked very nice.
His name was Ricardo. He was from Houston, had gone to school in Oklahoma (on a football scholarship) and had gotten a master's degree in Chemistry (a scholar-athlete, love it!). He was in Mississippi for Dental School, his first year.
He seemed, on first meeting him, like a really nice person.
Too bad he was only 27. (I'm nearly a whole decade older than him)
But that wasn't my major concern.
At this point in my life, I would like to date someone in which
there is a relationship that leads to marriage.
It would have been fun to go out with Ricardo for a nice dinner, but I know
ultimately I could not have a serious relationship with him that leads
to marriage.
Ricardo is a Mexican-American. My father would kill me if I did not marry a Black man. He would disown me, think ill of me, say mean hurtful things about me. You should hear what he says about my cousin who married a Latina woman.
My father is a racist and he's told me so. He doesn't even want me to marry someone from Africa: "You'll be one of several wives," he warns me.
He doesn't know that I've dated men of all nationalities, ethnicities, religions (yes, I went out with a Jewish guy a couple of times. He was nice). The last guy I dated was Nigerian. As a student at Ohio State, I went out with a guy from Kuwait. I mean if someone was nice, I saw no harm in going out to dinner or enjoying a movie.
As much as I like going home, there's a certain freedom in not living there. I can date whoever I want without someone (mainly family) judging me about my choices.
I know you're probably saying, "It doesn't matter what your father thinks, it's your life."
But it does.
I want my father to like and accept whoever I choose as my lifetime mate. I don't want to hide my husband or have to choose between my husband and my family.
Although I would also PREFER to marry a Black man, I don't want to feel bad for liking or even falling in love with someone who may not be African American.
What are your thoughts?
5 comments:
After watching how my family treated my cousin's wife whom they never liked (she told a lot of lies and acted ugly early on and we aren't a forgiving folk), I knew I wanted them to love my husband. So, I understand but...your dad wouldn't see how much you and whomever loved each other and decide to get over it?
P.S. You don't have any problem meeting men here either, you just haven't met the right one yet.
my father--had he disliked a guy i liked solely because of that guy's race or ethnicity--would've had to get over himself. did your dad give you a say in your stepmother?
you're not a child anymore. he doesn't get a say in who you marry. he doesn't have to live with that person. and as long as said person is making you happy, that should be all that matters. would he be happier if his daughter had a black spouse who beat her?
Lottie,
I've known you and your Dad for a very long time and I believe he means what he says and says what he means but the exception to that is you are his baby girl and he does not ultimately want to see you UNHAPPY!
Whomever you choose he will eventually get over it and accept what's before him.
Biblically you do make a choice and it is your husband. Leave and cleave. It will be your father who misses out, in the end and your DAD is much smarter than that!
And to Anonymous...
Understand why you displayed as anonymous because your statement of would he rather see you with a black guy that beats you - implies a mouthful.....
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