I was watching Sex and The City: The Movie on one of the cable channels this afternoon. Miranda had learned that her husband Steve had had an indiscretion.
He went to her, pleading, eyes begging, trying to apologize. He looked liked a sad, lost soul. But she wasn't hearing it. She cut him off and angrily replied (among other things): You broke us. You broke our marriage. I changed for you !
I changed for you.
What did she mean by that?
Was she upset that she gave up her so-called "great life" as an independent sassy successful attorney to marry a
bartender who ended up cheating on her. Talk about regrets. Miranda made it sound like she gave up her whole life when she got married. She felt duped.
So it made me think: Do we change who we are when we get married?
(I mean, I would hope the person I marry, is marrying me because he likes me just the way I am - or else he would find someone else he likes better - right?)
Anyway, I'm sure something about us changes when we get married. It's no longer about "I" but "we"; not "me" but "us."
I wonder if some of us are still single because we're not willing to change. We're selfish about our careers, our aspirations, our time, our space.
I do think Love has a way of CHANGING us. We make time, space, and shift our lives in new and different ways that welcomes another soul. Work and career are no longer as much of a priority. (In fact, I would rather get a foot rub than transcribe an interview.)
Ultimately our lives do change. Something else becomes more important. But how much do we change for someone esle?
Miranda said: I changed for you. And she was mad about it. Just think about giving up your life as you know it for someone and they ultimately betray you. That's gotta hurt.
But it's a risk we take.
So I ask: What do we give up for love? Do we have to lose ourselves, the essence of who we are to make it work with someone else? How much are you willing to change? And do women make the most changes?
Let me know your thoughts.