There seems to be some kind of theme going on. A few weeks ago, I pointed out an article in Uptown magazine titled "7 Things in Relationships That Separate Men From Boys." Here's my original post.
This time Essence.com's matchmaker, Paul Carrick Brunson tackles the "men v. boys" issue and comes up with his own list. In his list of How to Tell If You're Dating a Boy or a Man two of his points really struck a chord.
The first was #11: Boys send text messages. Men call.
I have to tell you, this has become one of my biggest pet peeves - men who only want to text. What happened to picking up the phone and having a real CONVERSATION - talking? I met a guy during a speeddating session on Valentine's Day. Well, we've exchanged text messages and that's about it. He sends the usual -"How was your day," or "What are your plans for this weekend," etc. But not once has he picked up the phone to have a conversation. I want to hear your voice. I want to get to know you by talking to you and finding out what you're interested in, your hobbies, your goals. I want to hear you laugh - not see LOL. I want to hear when you're passionate or happy or disappointed. Don't send me a text with a sad face. geez. Listen, I don't have unlimited texting, so there's only so much texting you can do before I start charging you.
The second item that struck a chord was #14: Boys split the check. Men pay.
I know a guy who stopped dating a woman because she didn't offer to pay half for dinner. He met her online. The guy, a 50-something professional, asked her out to dinner. They went to a nice restaurant in the city. When the check came it was nearly $100. Well, he was turned off that she didn't even offer to pay the tip. But he liked her, thought she was very attractive, so he asked her out again. They went to another restaurant and again, she didn't move a finger when the check came. He was upset. "It's expensive to date," he said. "And she didn't even offer to put something on the check." He never called her again. Huh? If a guy asks you out on a first date, are you suppose to pay half or offer to contribute to the bill?
So what do you guys think? Is this the way people date today - texting and expecting women to pay half for dinner?
What's up with these "text-only" relationships? (if you can call it a relationship) I mean how can you effectively communicate and get to know someone when you're only texting? Why don't today's men want to pick up the phone and talk?
And what about contributing to the date? Are women suppose to contribute to the date if a guys asks them out? Does it matter if it's the first date, second date or months-long, yearlong relationship?