Tonite I attended a holiday dinner with some of my exercise associates. One lady was telling me about her speed dating experience last night. She's divorced with 2 kids - one is 20 in college and the other is 15.
She met her ex-husband in college more than 20 years ago. She was 22 when they got married. Her mother and grandmother tried to persuade her not to marry the guy. Her friends boycotted the wedding.
Why? I asked.
He was mean, she said.
Well, why did you marry him? I asked.
I thought he would change, she told me. I believed that when I became his wife he would treat me nice.
Well, she was wrong.
She told me about a road trip they took early in their marriage - her daughter was 5 and son was 1 at the time. They were going to visit her parents and she told him to pull over at a rest stop so she could use the restroom.
He refused. He wouldn't stop.
Anyway, that should have been a clue but she stayed with him for 13 years. "I really fought for us," she told me. "I really wanted my kids to have a real family."
Interestingly, her brother was dating a young lady the same time she was dating her husband. But her brother didn't get married.
"My brother said he would rather be alone than marry someone he wasn't truly in love with," she said. "Well, I was more concerned about being alone than love."
Today her brother's married (with two kids) and she's divorced. He waited until his mid-30s and, according to my friend, found the love of his life.
So tonite I ask: As we get older, how important is love? Is it better to have a companion that is " just okay" than to be alone waiting for "the love of your life" that may never show up?
Let me know your thoughts.