Sunday, December 11, 2011

Alone Time

Tonite I attended a holiday dinner with some of my exercise associates. One lady was telling me about her speed dating experience last night. She's divorced with 2 kids - one is 20 in college and the other is 15.

She met her ex-husband in college more than 20 years ago. She was 22 when they got married. Her mother and grandmother tried to persuade her not to marry the guy. Her friends boycotted the wedding.

Why? I asked.

He was mean, she said.

Well, why did you marry him? I asked.

I thought he would change, she told me. I believed that when I became his wife he would treat me nice.

Well, she was wrong.

She told me about a road trip they took early in their marriage - her daughter was 5 and son was 1 at the time. They were going to visit her parents and she told him to pull over at a rest stop so she could use the restroom.

He refused. He wouldn't stop.

Anyway, that should have been a clue but she stayed with him for 13 years. "I really fought for us," she told me. "I really wanted my kids to have a real family."

Interestingly, her brother was dating a young lady the same time she was dating her husband. But her brother didn't get married.

"My brother said he would rather be alone than marry someone he wasn't truly in love with," she said. "Well, I was more concerned about being alone than love."

Today her brother's married (with two kids) and she's divorced. He waited until his mid-30s and, according to my friend, found the love of his life.

So tonite I ask: As we get older, how important is love? Is it better to have a companion that is " just okay" than to be alone waiting for "the love of your life" that may never show up?

Let me know your thoughts.


SingLikeSassy said...

You know, I waited for the love of my life and though my marriage ended, I wouldn't change a thing (well, I would change the part where he cheated and we divorced but you know what I mean....)

I DO think that we can have more than one "love of our lives" though, so I anticipate being married again someday.

I think it's sad that this woman jumped at 22. Who convinced her she would be alone if she didn't marry this man at 22?!

You know you can get married at 50 and be together for 40 years. Time only runs out if you let it.

TNDRHRT said...

I could never just be with someone who I felt lukewarm towards. I'd continue to be alone until that 'perfect' person for me came along. That's how blessings are blocked. Not waiting and settling is not what's up.