Girl Talk

A few weeks ago, I had brunch with some girlfriends from my alma mater. We get together every so often to catch up and check in on each other. We know that living in D.C. is a long way from the dorms of Jackson State University in Mississippi. So we often dish about life: work, play and love. We laugh. We share. We remember the good ole times. And we offer support to each other.

So on this day, we met at a neat spot not far from downtown D.C. to celebrate the recent nuptials of one of the ladies in the group. During our nearly 4-hour gathering, we talked about everything from careers to traveling (Egypt anyone?) to possible motherhood, to, of course, relationships (why does the conversation always end up on men?).

The subject of homecoming and husbands came up. I mentioned that one of our school mate's husband loved our homecoming - the parade, the game, halftime, receptions and the after parties.

"I met her husband. Did he go to Jackson State?" asked one of the ladies who I'll call "Simone."

"No," I said.

"He looks like he does manual labor," said Simone.

Everyone froze. "What?" someone finally asked.

"You know. He looks like a blue-collar worker," Simone continued.

Now, "Simone" is extremely smart and super successful. She has a Ph.D. and a high level federal government job. She earns a pretty penny and owns a nice home in Maryland. She's not married and she doesn't have any children. She usually dates men who are "somebody" - men with multiple degrees or "good" jobs.

"He's a nice person," I said. "He works hard and he loves his family."

"Lottie, you don't have to defend him," someone at the table said.

But we all knew what "Simone" meant. Our school mate has an MBA and works for a top Fortune 500 company in the city. She's done pretty well. A few years ago she married a man who did not have similar education or the same professional experience. We knew that Simone was implying that our friend had married someone not on her "level" — just an average guy.

Our school mate, however, was blissfully happy. She had a beautiful home and an even more beautiful family (they have one child together).

On the other hand, more than half the folks sitting at the table that afternoon, including Simone, were single.

Go figure.

What are your thoughts on this? Do we know folks who actually feel like Simone but won't say it - too afraid of what others may think of them?