Dude, Are You Serious?

So, one of my Match.com guys told me that it was difficult to find a Single Black Woman over the age of 35 with no kids or at least no kids under the age of 18. He said he wanted someone attractive, witty, spiritual; someone who knows about politics, business, pop culture and is health conscious.

Is he living under a rock?

Did he see the DATELINE special or has he read the numerous articles, including this one from MSNBC, that have come out in the past year talking about the thousands of beautiful, college-educated professional Black women who can't find suitable mates?

I told him that the majority of my friends do not have children. MOST have never been married and all are attractive, well-rounded individuals who are funny, spiritual and health conscious (though I have to admit that I have a weakness for sweets).

I can't believe he can't find anyone with those qualities when all I have to do is walk out my front door.

What do you think?

Let's Talk About Pep

Any thoughts on the latest episode of "Let's Talk About Pep?"

What do you think about Pep? Kittie? Jacque?

If you're unfamiliar with the show, please check out Episode 3 below:

VH1 TV Shows | Music Videos | Celebrity Photos | News & Gossip

Is It Me?

Okay guys, first week on Match.com.
So far, the only people who seem interested in me — those who have winked or emailed me — are men in their late '40s: 47, 48, 49.

For age range, I indicated that I wanted to meet men between ages 37-42. But for some reason, those men are not contacting me.

I noted that I liked the theater, dancing, live music and volunteering.
Are those "old" people interests? Do guys think I'm not fun because I like to volunteer and go to the theater?

I don't get it. Is it me? What do you think is going on? Why aren't I attracting men in my age range ?

5 Things

This is an easy post today.
Someone asked me earlier this week:
What are 5 things you would like to learn?

hmmm, good question. What about you? Let me know.

Online Dating

There's a song called, "Love Don't Cost a Thing."
Obviously it was written before the internet age.

Online dating is expensive !
Why didn't anyone warn me?
Yall know I'm cheap.

I don't know about this. I'm having second thoughts.
I just may have to try to get out the house more. You know,
go to more social events and meet people.

But maybe I should look at subscribing to online dating sites as an investment in my future. (wonder if I could get a tax write-off if I consider this "Research" for my job)

Stepping Out

I was reading my notes from my interview with Anika Noni Rose today and came across a quote that had profound meaning during this time in my life. She said, "My grandmother always told me, 'If it is to be, it's up to me. You don't sit down. You get up and make something happen."

I believe this advice can be applied not only to achieve professional goals, but also in personal situations.
So I decided to get out of my funk and do something about my singleness.

Right now my schedule is a little crazy. Not only do I work full-time but I teach Jazzercise six days a week and go to school on Saturdays. There's little time for me to get out and meet people. Also, I haven't found too many cool places that cater to the 30+ crowd. I always thought that I would just bump into someone at the supermarket and it would be love at first sight, but that hasn't happened yet.
As a result, I have joined several online dating sites, mainly Match.com and eHarmony. I've never done online dating before and have gotten mixed reviews from folks.

eHarmony has sent me a note indicating that someone read my profile and is interested in communicating with me. The person is an IT professional who lives in Springfield, Va., and is 48. I was going to discount him until I read that he enjoyed "making home improvements and repairs around the house."

Wow. I really need a handyman. It's hard to find good help these days. Most of the folks I've dealt with when it came to home services were either too expensive or unreliable.

I am really not interested in dating anyone two years from 50, but on the other hand, I need a good handyman. There's a lot of stuff in my house that needs to be fixed.

What do you think?

journal entry

I really don't want to be sad about my situation.
I want to remain upbeat and optimistic. There's a song that says "Count It All Joy." I can't do that right now, maybe later; but not now. It's hard. I have to face reality and it ain't nothing joyful.
I am discouraged, sad, alone, lonely; regretting the choices I made. I keep thinking about what could have been, what should have been. I know, I know, you can't change the past. But I am so mad at myself !!!
Why Lottie? Why couldn't you have been smarter? Why didn't you make the right decision?
Why did you have to be so selfish? Why didn't you do what you were suppose to do?
My life would be so different now. I would be happy.

Bush Backlash?

So, I heard that some folks are upset that Reggie Bush is on the cover of Essence Magazine's "Black Men, Love & Relationships" issue. Their argument is that Reggie Bush really doesn't represent Black Love because he's dating someone who is not African American.

(though Reggie Bush may disagree. have you seen Kim Kardashian's behind - just kidding)

What are your thoughts?

It Takes Two

I was going to write about the comments of Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich today. I was even thinking about posting something on the new VH1 show, "Let's Talk About Pep," featuring four prominent single African American women in their quest for love.

But an article by Tanya Ballard Brown, digital news editor at NPR, prompted me to change my mind.

In the midst of all the attention on the lack of marriage prospects for successful single Black women, Brown asks the question that few are asking: Why aren't Black men marrying Black women? But more importantly she wants to hear from BLACK MEN.

We've seen show after show after show feature beautiful Black women who long for love and express their desire for a mate. Yet, few of these shows have featured Black Men to talk about why they aren't settling down or marrying successful Black women.

In her article, Marriage: Black Brothers, Wherefore Art Thou? , Ballard Brown asks a series of questions:

"What do black men say about why they aren't marrying black women?

Is it because they've heard over and over again the statistic that there are more single black women than men? Do they figure, why settle down when they can keep shopping right up until the last minute?

Are they afraid of commitment?

Are they putting off marriage until they have their careers and finances in order?

Do they feel they just can't compete with the black women they are most attracted to?

Is it because marriage hasn't been presented to them as something that will benefit them?

Have they decided not to limit themselves to one race?

Or is it something else altogether?"

Of course we all have our own assumptions and theories about why Black men aren't settling down or marrying beautiful successful (caring, loving) Black women. But Brown asks the men directly. Read their comments after the article. They are insightful.

What are your thoughts?

(By the way, there's a part II to this blog so I could relay my own experience.)

Third White House Party Crasher

I'm sure you've heard that a third person may have crashed the White House State Dinner. Carlos Allen, CEO of Hush Magazine, spoke with Good Morning America's Robin Roberts about how he got in. You can read the GMA article here.

But I really want you to take a look at his interview. Please view the entire video.

What do you think? I would love to know your thoughts.

Black, African-American or Negro

A recent article on TheGrio.com notes that Question 9 on the 2010 Census asks a persons race. The choices? White; Black, African-American or Negro; American Indian or Alaska Native. There are also 11 other choices, plus an opportunity to write-in whatever you want to define or describe yourself.

According to a Census Bureau spokesperson, "Negro" was left on the form "after a number of respondents to the 2000 Census" opted to write in the term. Nevertheless, many folks, particularly young Blacks believe the term is "insulting and demeaning."

In the article, 25-year-old graduate student Taryn Anthony expressed displeasure: "I find the word 'Negro' to be quite offensive when it comes to the census and separating and differentiating among races because of the history of the use of the word. I've yet to hear someone use it in a respectable manner, so placing it on a census seems as yet another way to set back African-Americans."

What are your thoughts on this? Should the word "Negro" be on the 2010 Census? Do you find it offensive, insulting or demeaning?

Fair?

What do you think of this Vanity Fair cover of Tiger Woods?

My co-worker thinks it is racist, that Tiger looks like a thug. He says that Vanity Fair is stereotyping Tiger; in essence saying that all Black men are just basically thugs.

hmmm. really?
Ironically, this cover was shot way before the scandal.

What are your thoughts on this cover?

You can check out the Vanity Fair article on Tiger here .

HAPPY NEW YEAR !

Hi all,

I started this blog in 2008, just a few days before 2009.
I've enjoyed your feedback on my postings and have grown from
your insight.

I want to start this year in a more positive space — hopeful, joyful, happy, at peace.
There's SO much I want to do this year. But each year, I make these long lists
and never get to them.

This year however, I am focusing on three goals — just three (a professional goal, a personal goal and a health goal). I believe if I am focused and determined I can accomplish my goals.

In her blog, enjoyceinglife, writer Joyce Davis gives us some great things to think about in the Handbook 2010. Please check the list out here. It really puts life in perspective and makes you think about the things that matter most.

What about you? What do you want to do this year? Are you taking steps to achieve your goals? Do you have a plan? My sister always says — "if you fail to plan, you plan to fail." Boy, she should take her own advice (lol).

2010 here we come ! Let's get it started !