Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Valentine's Day

I wanted to write a post about the show Unfaithful: Stories of Betrayal on the OWN Network, but something else was on my mind this morning: Valentine's Day. As you know, it's next week, so I thought I'd throw out this question: What do you think of guys who don't "celebrate" Valentine's Day?

I've heard the excuses - "It's a made up holiday" or "Why do I need a holiday to show you much I care?" or "I don't believe in Valentine's day." (But you "believe" I should do all the girlfriend stuff - whatever that entails...)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but what is he really saying?
Well if you believe in the saying, actions speak louder than words, his ACTIONS are loud and clear: I'm Not That Into You (enough to acknowledge you on a day for lovers).

Is Valentine's Day a sort of gauge of where you stand in a relationship, a measure of how much you really mean to a person? If a person doesn't acknowledge you on Valentine's Day does that mean the relationship is not what you thought it was? Maybe you thought it was something more serious than it really was, but you didn't get the memo until Valentine's Day (ouch!).

Say you were dating a person for 11 months, Valentine's Day rolls around - What is your EXPECTATION? What if you don't hear from this person (not even a text), would you be disappointed? Mad? Sad?

Last year I talked to a good friend who was hurt that she didn't get anything for Valentine's Day. Her male "friend" had bought her a beautiful silk shawl for her birthday and a pair of expensive stiletto boots for Christmas. When Valentine's Day came he said, "I don't believe in that stuff." She felt stiffed.

Now, just because he didn't get her anything (or do anything) for Valentine's Day does that mean he didn't care about her? hmmmm

So I ask: When a person (that you believe you're in a relationship with) doesn't acknowledge you on Valentine's Day (a call, a card, flowers, chocolates, dinner, something) is he basically telling you how he feels about you, where you stand in his life and the state of your relationship?

Let me know your thoughts.


Anonymous said...

If you are with someone who fails to recognize Valentine's Day with a gift of some sort, doesn't matter how small -- card, perfume, jewelry, I think that is some indication of how he feels about you. If you give off the vibe that the day means nothing to you, then maybe he's off the hook. But if you have let him know the day means something to you, and he still chooses not to recognize the day, then he is saying he really doesn't care about what you care about. At least he's honest with it.

BPC said...

His not acknowledging Valentine's Day is absolutely an indication of how he feels about you.

SingLikeSassy said...

If I say the V-day means something to ME and he still isn't moved to at least give me a card or something then I would say dude isn't into me. Relationships are about compromise. Give and take. I aint into football, but I'll watch the Super Bowl with my man if he wants me to.