Saturday, August 20, 2011

Partner or Provider?

After my Jazzercise class this morning, a woman was talking to me about her 29-year-old son. He's dating a girl, she said, who is a registered nurse and is in school getting a master's degree. She eventually wants to be a doctor.

That's great, I said.

My son, she told me, works for a security company and does some club promoting on the side. But he's not going to settle down with her.

Why not, I asked.

Well, he doesn't feel accomplished around her, she said.

I listened.

She tried to explain: "Have you read Steve Harvey's book? The second one?"

No, I confessed.

"Well, in it he says a REAL man does 3 things for his lady: He's a protector, a provider and professes his love for her in public," she said. "My son doesn't think he can be a good provider at this time."

I understood. Her son didn't want to commit to a young lady because he thought she was too ambitious. He didn't feel BIG enough around her.

"You know you have to lift a man's ego," she said.

I could tell she really liked the young lady and was a bit disappointed with her son: "I know at some point you have to let your child grow up and make their own mistakes," she said.

But I realized as a person gets older and matures they want different things.

For example, as I get closer to 40 some women in my age group would like to have a man who is a provider (though they've been on their own for most of their life) and others just want a partner.

Me? Right now, I just want someone to rub my feet (LOL !)

What about you?
Do you want a provider or a partner?
Have your wants changed as you've gotten older? If so, how?


SingLikeSassy said...

I know I wasn't there, but reading this it doesn't sound like the guy is intimidated because the woman is too ambitious (that reads like SHE has done something wrong and I don't like it), seems like he knows his ish is raggedy and that his girl deserves better than that.

What's puzzling to me is that he would rather lose his girl, then get off his ass and DO something. And mama shouldn't just be disappointed in HIM she should be mad at herself. She raised him.

SingLikeSassy said...

OH! I want a partner AND a provider. What's with this either or ish?

TNDRHRT said...

I want BOTH! He needs to be a partner who provides for our family.