Earlier today, a contractor stopped by to give me an estimate on replacing my gutter and fixing my roof. After he told me how much it would cost, I told him I would have to get back to him after the holidays. Christmas is next week and I need every little penny.
"Why don't you just get the money from your man?" he asked.
I just stared at him.
"I know you a independent woman and all, but if he was any kind of man he would make sure his woman was taken care of. He would make sure your house is fixed and give you the money to do stuff like this."
I didn't know what to say. He was an older gentleman and I guess a little old school.
I mean this is my home. I bought it and am responsible for the upkeep. Even if I had a boyfriend or "a man", I wouldn't expect him to pay to get stuff fixed - or should I?
Maybe I'm living in a different world.
Last week I rushed out of the house to take my garbage out as the trash removal truck pulled up in my alley. It was freezing cold and I made it just in time. One of the guys asked, "What you doing out here? Why didn't your man take the garbage out?" "Where yo man? He should be out here."
I smiled politely and told them to have a good day.
I don't know. I've been single so long, I'm just used to doing stuff myself. I'm sure if I was in a relationship and my male friend took the garbage out, I wouldn't object -LOL. But I don't know if I would let him pay to get a major repair done in my home.
What do you guys think about this?
If I had a significant male partner, should I expect him to pay for the upkeep of my house? What if he offered to pay for a major repair?
Should I expect him to do things like take out the garbage?
Let me know your thoughts.
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4 comments:
Hm. Expect it? That seems a bit much, but...well, I dunno, cause I'm thinking about my mama and how one time this dude she was dating came by the house on a Sunday and didn't note that my mama's car needed tires OR offer to replace them, and his ass was cut on Monday. I mean, we didn't see him AGAIN. EVER. She still talks about that with outrage.
After I bought my house I was buying power tools and painting and replacing light fixtures and ish. My mama stuff stay fixed and she does nothing but smile and be cute.
Hmmmm, my theory has always been not to "expect it", but he should at least OFFER. I want a man with the mindset and ability to take care of me and make sure I am physically and mentally okay at all times. I may not NEED him to pay to fix things, or even physically fix things or even pay for a mental health day of spa and pampering, but he sure needs to OFFER and give me the choice of accepting or declining. I think the game changes when you get married, I think the "serious dating" to marriage journey moves things to expectation.
He all up in your Kool-Aid and don't even know the flava.
I wouldn't expect a man that I'm dating to pay for repairs to my house and if he offered, I would decline. However, I do believe that men should take out the garbage. In my house, I'm always the one taking it out. I expect my husband to do it but I don't like waiting until he gets around to it. I'm sure that my neighbors whisper about the fact that I'm always taking it out! LOL
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