Money Matters

Does money really matter in a relationship?

Would you date/marry a person who made significantly less than you?

As you may have heard, Academy Award-winning actress Halle Berry and her baby daddy, model Gabriel Aubry recently broke up . According to one of the radio entertainment reports, Halle would tell Gabriel that he wasn't putting in his fair share and taunt him with her Oscar. hmmm. Halle has made $20 million a film, unless she's dating Will Smith, Denzel Washington, Jamie Foxx or Tom Cruise, she's not going to meet that many people who will "put in their fair share." Of course, she's Halle Berry and can probably date anyone she wants, including billionaires.

But let's talk about normal people.

If you made, say, $200,000 a year, would you date someone who made $20,000 a year or someone who made minimum wage or worked the cash register at McDonald's?

Men don't seem to have a problem dating women who make significantly less. For example, we've seen millionaires who date/marry nannies (Tiger Woods), waitresses (O.J. & Tiger Woods), bartenders (Matt Damon) and school teachers (Bob Costas of NBC sports).

On the other hand, some well-educated, successful, professional women have a problem dating men who are not "on their level." In fact, in a recent Essence magazine article titled, Why Don't We Get Married? Black Men and Women Face Off, one of the male panelists said:"Too many women feel that because they went to a top university and make a certain amount of money, that they are entitled to a certain type of man. You are not entitled to anything. And most men that these women would call "on their level" don't care how much money a woman makes."

(Of course not because men on that level want eye candy, porn stars and model types — but I digress.)

Do you think despite our educational and professional success, women still believe in the traditional role of men as the breadwinner? Shouldn't we just focus on whether he's nice and not how much he makes?

Do you think women believe they will be taken advantage of financially if they're with someone who has less wealth? Is it because they don't want to "take care" of a man?

Do you think men who make less are less ambitious? Do you think some men feel emasculated, less than a man, if he can't support his family or makes less than his mate? What about the school teacher who doesn't care about money, but wants to make a difference in the lives of children? Does that make him less desirable because he doesn't want to be a millionaire?

On the other hand, do you want to be in a relationship where you are footing the bill for everything — movies, dinner, trips, hotel, airline tickets, concerts, etc. What if you were married and had to pay for your own wedding ring, the wedding, the honeymoon, buy the house and both your cars, the furniture and every other expense — but he was a nice guy (loving, kind, caring)?

What if he keeps the house clean or rubs your feet after a hard day's work? What if he just lends a supportive ear during an extremely stressful time or hugs you close when all the world is against you? Isn't that all we really need, someone to hold our hand and ease our fears?

Everyone likes to be wined and dined, but would you rather have a nice man with an average income who is faithful or a successful millionaire who cheats?
I have one friend who is a doctor, married to a mechanic. Another friend who makes six figures working in the financial industry is married to a department store clerk. Both seem happy.

So I guess my question is, does money really matter in a relationship?