The latest Heart & Soul poll asks: "If my significant other cheated, I would...."
a. Leave
b. Retaliate
c. Get counseling and work it out
d. Stay, but make his/her life miserable
e. nothing
Interestingly, 47 percent of respondents voted that they would leave the relationship and 53 percent said they would get counseling and work it out.
How would you answer this question? Does it depend on the circumstance?
Please go to heartandsoul.com to vote.
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2 comments:
it depends on the situation (at least, for me). if my husband cheated, but it was a brief sex-only fling, i might be able to forgive and forget in time. having survived physical and emotional abuse in a long-time relationship from years ago, i know my significant other having sex with someone else is NOT the worst thing that can happen. but if my husband became emotionally involved with another woman, i think that would be the end of our marriage. of course, i say this as a never-been-married woman, so i could be talking out the side of my neck. i think you don't know how you'll respond until you're actually faced with this situation.
i think 20+ years is a long time to be with one person and one person only. making the assumption that all other things in the relationship are fine--and that's a false assumption. life is full of ups and downs. even when you love a person with all your heart, you don't always like that person. a spouse's dalliance (and it's not just men cheating these days) SO doesn't mean the spouse doesn't love you or that the spouse wants out of the marriage. but it could be a symptom of other stuff that's wrong. stuff that, worked on, could make your union post-affair much stronger.
i have 3 friends right now all married 15 years or longer where the wife is miserable. why? they've spent the past 15 years being great parents, but losing the emotional connection with their husbands. and the husbands are perfectly content to let their wives a) carry the load of trying to fix the emotional disconnect, or 2) remain miserable, 'cause they don't need the emotional connection in the same way we do. one of the friends has already had an affair. one is contemplating it with someone she met who fulfills the emotional void. one is exhausted trying to fix the problem alone and is thinking about a divorce.
having had a butcher knife to my neck has had a marginalizing effect on sexual dalliances.
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