Over the past month, I've run into a few of my
ex-boyfriends. One I saw at the Improv with his
new love; I came across another during a Happy Hour
at a local lounge; and I literally bumped into an old college
flame while leaving the Inauguration ceremony.
Coincidence or fate? I mean what would be the likelihood of me
seeing someone I had not seen in 20 years? okay 15.
He's now a college English professor at a university outside
of Chicago.
But all these run-ins got me to thinking - why didn't these
relationships work? These are perfectly nice guys. What if
I was a little more patient, a little more compromising; a little
more forgiving. Maybe I shouldn't have been so judgmental, a little
bit more flexible or a lot more understanding.
None of these guys were physically abusive or womanizers. They all
met the standards of my "Love List" (see previous post).
Sure, they may have had their little idiosyncrasies, but no one is perfect.
I'm sure not.
Sometimes we hold out for something that's not there. And where does that get us? Old and alone.
Think about it. What if you had married your high school or
college sweetheart? What would your life be like now? Or what if you
had stayed with the nice guy you blew off?
Regrets anyone?
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4 comments:
I must admit that I regret not breaking up with my college boyfriend in order to reconnect with a high school boyfriend (who was genuinely a nice guy) when I had the chance. The college boyfriend ended up NOT being the guy for me, something I should have figured out early on.
I think a better way of looking at it is that those men weren't right for the YOU you were then. You've evolved, as have they, and if you two got together today it might work. Or, maybe it wouldn't. Who knows?
I do think when it's right though, it's right. Timing doesn't get in the way, age doesn't get in the way, money doesn't get in the way, it's just right. When it's right for you, you will know. What you do with that knowledge is up to you.
There is no way to know what might have been, so there it is not useful to have regrets about it.
If I'd met my husband five years earlier there is no way it would have gone beyond casual dating because I was very firmly committed to my very independant single lifestyle. I was not ready for any other kind of commitment. So I suppose if I'd met him five years sooner than I did, I might be regretting it now. Or maybe not.
Life is too short for regrets. People are always evolving and the moment you and those old beaus crossed paths you were not compatible. Hopefully, the right person will come into your life at the right time.
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