tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860959085598847947.post4565045245835289700..comments2023-10-26T06:02:43.727-07:00Comments on 30 Something: No Qualified Candidates?Lottiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17025070119076692685noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860959085598847947.post-80890143947162902512012-03-09T10:43:11.260-08:002012-03-09T10:43:11.260-08:00Most of the guys I've dated who had kids had t...Most of the guys I've dated who had kids had them within the confines of a marriage. I'm trying to think of a guy I've dated who had kids out of wedlock. Hmmm...I know of one while I was in grad school in Iowa, but no one here in DC. Even the younger guys I've dated, didn't have kids at all. A plus, but of course they had other issues.TNDRHRThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02148710759260919252noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860959085598847947.post-57945929211895943382012-03-09T10:39:42.296-08:002012-03-09T10:39:42.296-08:00I still can't believe that she wasn't able...I still can't believe that she wasn't able to find at least ONE guy. With that said, you are also not going to find many men our age who have never been married and/or not have kids. That's simply facts. You may have to go a little younger in the dating pool to meet those requirments. However, the NM/NK guys are out there. I've met a few.TNDRHRThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02148710759260919252noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860959085598847947.post-3910239444803566992012-03-07T07:44:01.235-08:002012-03-07T07:44:01.235-08:00I think it's sad that the ladies in this post ...I think it's sad that the ladies in this post don't know any men who have decided not to have children outside of wedlock.SingLikeSassyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13075372212124203113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860959085598847947.post-36480132996408423002012-03-07T04:32:28.123-08:002012-03-07T04:32:28.123-08:00I doubt that there will be a decent guy betwen 38 ...I doubt that there will be a decent guy betwen 38 to 45 with no kids. The list isn't bad and you want what you want but chances are very slim. Perhaps if you go further than the DMV?? There are guys around 43 that have never been married before - I know a few but they do have a child or two.Dreahttp://www.indreasmind.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860959085598847947.post-56048323762598446912012-03-06T13:13:28.262-08:002012-03-06T13:13:28.262-08:00ACK! I mean, never married and no children. Obviou...ACK! I mean, never married and no children. Obviously, no kids and no children are the same thing. <br /><br />And that is my cue to leave this post be for the day. LOL!SingLikeSassyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13075372212124203113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860959085598847947.post-80285101471908965892012-03-06T13:12:38.949-08:002012-03-06T13:12:38.949-08:00"If a man made it to 38-40 and never got marr..."If a man made it to 38-40 and never got married or had kids, there is probably a reason for that --- a reason that you will not like."<br /><br />See, I disagree with this statement because, Lottie is 38-40 with no kids and children, is something wrong with her?SingLikeSassyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13075372212124203113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860959085598847947.post-24037307388864824322012-03-06T12:45:05.949-08:002012-03-06T12:45:05.949-08:00She is right, and she made one point that I have b...She is right, and she made one point that I have been trying to tell you all along. If a man made it to 38-40 and never got married or had kids, there is probably a reason for that --- a reason that you will not like.<br /><br />Drop the limitations, and just see. I would probably stick with the education part though --- that's important to me.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860959085598847947.post-32425062101714486712012-03-06T08:47:33.507-08:002012-03-06T08:47:33.507-08:00P.S. That last post was from me! SingLikeSassyP.S. That last post was from me! SingLikeSassySingLikeSassyhttp://singlikesassy.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860959085598847947.post-17150604478974407882012-03-06T08:47:01.346-08:002012-03-06T08:47:01.346-08:00Before I got married I used to joke that "my ...Before I got married I used to joke that "my husband is married to the wrong woman right now." Still, I never thought I would marry someone who had been married before, though it wasn't a non-negotiable for me the way child-free was a non-negotiable. <br /><br />That said, while some men did have bad luck with their first marriage, some folks should not be married at all, like my now exhusband (and we are still close, he just figured out that marriage is a bad fit for him while married to me), for example. So there's several ways to look at all this and I can understand you wanting to take your chances with someone who hasn't been down that road before. <br /><br />At the end of the day, I think people like what they like and want what they want but you have to be open and flexible. <br /><br />But I still can't believe the matchmaker couldn't find ONE man in the DMV that fit your criteria. <br /><br />Finally, read this post: <a href="http://www.blacknbougie.com/2012/03/bougie-bachelor-chronicles-this-is-like.html" rel="nofollow">Bougie Bachelor Chronicles - "This is like work!"</a>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860959085598847947.post-63493064045923632462012-03-06T07:05:48.363-08:002012-03-06T07:05:48.363-08:00what laura said! that's what i was trying to s...what laura said! that's what i was trying to say; she was much more eloquent about it!kendrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00268049427307339941noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860959085598847947.post-36688034106458195492012-03-06T05:46:17.168-08:002012-03-06T05:46:17.168-08:00Laura Rush said it best... and limitations also li...Laura Rush said it best... and limitations also limit possibilities.Sherrinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860959085598847947.post-27886154343070482882012-03-05T19:21:13.742-08:002012-03-05T19:21:13.742-08:00I'm no expert, but you might look at things fr...I'm no expert, but you might look at things from this point of view: if a guy has made it to the ripe old age of 38 (at least) and never been married, then maybe it's more likely that there's a good reason he's never been married.<br /><br />I'm not telling you to compromise your values or standards -- especially since I don't know your specific reasons for wanting a guy who has never been married or doesn't have kids -- but there might be some fantastic African-American, college-educated men out there for you who just had some bad luck with their first marriage.<br /><br />When I was single (and I was single for a LOOOONG time before I met my husband in my mid- to late-thirties), my basic criteria for a partner was that he was someone I "clicked" with. I just wanted someone who got me. He could have been any race or a wide range of ages or occupations. <br /><br />I mean, isn't that really what we're all looking for? Someone who "gets" us? And isn't it possible that the person who is going to "get" you is a year (or two, or three, or five) older/younger than your age range, or has been married previously, or whatever?<br /><br />I guess my advice would be to throw out the predetermined image/demographic you have in your head of what your future mate will be like. Focus instead on what characteristics you want him to have. You've done that a bit with your "polished yet laid back" criteria. But expand on that instead of focusing on age ranges or whether they've been married or not (unless that's important to you for a specific reason that makes sense to you).<br /><br />Maybe say you're looking for a good conversationalist or someone who is truthful and sincere or whatever (fill in your blanks as appropriate) would work better.Laura Rushnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860959085598847947.post-45450207010881894902012-03-05T17:59:31.961-08:002012-03-05T17:59:31.961-08:00Can't find an African American man with those ...Can't find an African American man with those specs in DC? She never looked.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860959085598847947.post-53213202758863989112012-03-05T10:02:47.129-08:002012-03-05T10:02:47.129-08:00@Kendra: Not everybody wants to be bothered with o...@Kendra: Not everybody wants to be bothered with other folks' kids, great dad or no, and just like not all single women are baby mamas, not all single men are baby daddies. <br /><br />I would think the one thing really limiting you is the race restriction, but honestly, this list seems fine to me and I find it hard to believe that what you want can't be found in the DMV area. I would get my money back.SingLikeSassyhttp://singlikesassy.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1860959085598847947.post-75914146793540320502012-03-05T09:41:28.832-08:002012-03-05T09:41:28.832-08:0038 to 45? never married? no kids? so no-go if he&#...38 to 45? never married? no kids? so no-go if he's 47? later if he has kids & is a great dad? seems a bit restrictive. i'm not surprised the matchmaker was unsuccessful.kendrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00268049427307339941noreply@blogger.com